I spent a week asking: “What would make me happy right now?”
(See my last post to find out what prompted this journey.)
What a selfish attitude, right? That’s what I used to think. But I’ve come to realize that self-care isn’t selfish and choosing to do things that make me happy actually enriches my life (shocking, I know!).
In the past, my sole focus was on productivity and my accomplishments. A good day was a day I got a lot done. In many ways, this has to do with my personality. I am a very goal- and task-oriented person. Marking items off my to-do list actually makes me happy!
But what doesn’t make me happy is the pressure. I put A LOT of pressure on myself to be productive. This is also an attitude my family embraces. It’s all about: what was I able to do today?
I think the more important question is: how do I feel about today? Yes, I usually feel good after a productive day, but on other days I just need to sit down and read, spend some time working on personal projects, bake cookies, and watch a movie. And this isn’t wrong!
My personal happiness project (eating disorder recovery style) was about giving myself permission to choose to do what makes me happy despite what others think. I gave myself permission to disregard the pressures from myself and my family. I allowed myself to rediscover what makes Kristi happy.
What did I learn?
Well, even when specifically choosing happiness, I wasn’t happy all the time. In fact, there was definitely a day I was quite miserable. However, even on this miserable day I didn’t beat myself up for lying in bed for hours on end (something that I normally would’ve felt so guilty about!).
Multiple times each day I asked myself, “What would make me happy right now?” and I tried to do that thing. Sometimes that meant going on a walk, other times it meant watching something on TV, baking cookies, or drawing.
During this process I discovered a new appreciation for drawing and journaling.
I also found an appreciation for slowing down. Just asking the question, “What would make me happy?” allowed me to be present in the moment. It gave me a chance to ground myself and reconnect with my feelings and thoughts. I realized it’s kinda nice to not be running around all day just focusing on how much I can get done! Slowing down and living in the moment certainly has its benefits.
I certainly intend to keep asking myself the happiness question and take life slower. After all, when I die I won’t be thinking about all the things I have or haven’t done. I’ll be thinking about whether I had a happy, fulfilling, and enriched life.
I encourage you to ask yourself this question: What would make me happy right now? Focus on slowing down and doing the things that bring you joy <3
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The Happiness Project | ED Recovery Style
Eating Disorder Recovery and COVID-19