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Side Effects of Restriction: Why I Take More Food Than I Can Eat
For the longest time, I couldn't understand why I wanted to eat everything in sight or nothing at all. I couldn't just eat one cookie. In fact, I didn't even want just one cookie. I wanted the whole tray. I knew I wouldn't and couldn't eat the whole tray (even during...
Why Eating Disorders Make It Hard to Eat with People
When I was anorexic, I hated eating out. I was always torn between either spending time with my friends or staying in my room. It wasn't uncommon for my roommate to suggest we grab Mexican food between classes, or for a group of my friends to gather at Olive Garden on...
Eating Disorders, Body Image, Finding Health
Confession time! I had a bit of a weight pity-party this weekend. My self-doubt and body-image frustrations were revitalized on Saturday night around 9:30pm as I scrolled through the news on my phone and saw an article about Meghan Markle and her royal wedding. See, I...
Stop Talking About Sugar Fasts, Fad Diets, and Juice Cleanses
For as long as I can remember, I saw myself as fat. Yes, I was a bit chubby when I was 8 and 9 years old (I later grew out of my baby fat when I hit my growth spurt), but I was nowhere close to unhealthy or fat. Nonetheless, fat was my nickname. I was called fat by my...
My Motivational Yo-Yo

My Motivational Yo-Yo

I want to recover from my eating disorder! No I don't. Yes I do. No I don't. Oh bother... Is it just me, or does your...

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Here’s Why Eating Disorders Suck
May I just say, eating disorders suck. They are the freaking worst. Honestly, I try to be a positive and happy person. I try to look on the bright side of things. But sometimes, it's all I can do to keep my head up, smile, and get my work and schoolwork done without...
Are You The One Black Sheep? How To Deal With Feelings Of Insecurity
Do you ever listen to a song and think, "this is legit my life!" Well, me too. I recently heard the song "One Black Sheep" by Mat Kearney for the first time. As I listened, I was like, this was written for me! Then I listened to it about a dozen more times just to be...
Being Honest About My Eating Disorder Recovery in 2020
Well, if you haven't noticed, I've been out of commission for the last year and a half. There are a few reasons for this (and unfortunately it's not because I've recovered from my eating disorder). Primarily, I was terrified that someone from my family would find this...
Opening Up About My Eating Disorder
I have always been very private about my eating disorder. But you literally blog about it. Yes, yes I do. But the reality is that no one I know in person knows about this website (except my boyfriend, and I just told him yesterday). Secrecy is not a knew phenomenon...
Setting New Goals In Recovery

Setting New Goals In Recovery

Yesterday was not great, to say the least. First, I have been restricting in ways I shouldn't for the past couple of weeks. Everything came to a head yesterday afternoon. I was starving and no one was in the house, so I binged. I ate and ate and ate. It was my first...

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